


Lying Beneath the Surface

by zestycheck (breathingfire)



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, although theres a break before it happens so you can stop there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-23 11:07:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11988543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breathingfire/pseuds/zestycheck
Summary: While on a relaxing beach vacation, Kravitz remembers things. Taako helps him out.





	Lying Beneath the Surface

**Author's Note:**

> so uh **warning** for p detailed description of a panic attack, from an outsider's pov (altho the symptoms are unusual bc he's not human)
> 
> if you want to avoid that, you can stop at the horizontal line  
> that leaves you with ~500 words of beachy fluff and you can leave and be happy knowing that youre taking care of your mental health and i'm proud of u
> 
> on a different note, this was written a while ago under the "kravitz = keats" theory. altho, like, you dont _have to_ imagine his siblings as the vogue elves if you don't want to. whatever floats ur boat. death of the author and all that

Taako stretched out on the sand, wriggling his toes and enjoying the breeze. “Fuck, my dude, I haven't relaxed like this in almost a century.”

Kravitz was similarly stretched out next to him, enjoying the warmth of the sun and sand and the quiet of the abandoned beach. “Mmm”.

Taako rolled over and rested his head on Kravitz's bare chest. “Holy shit, babe, you're  _ warm _ .”

Kravitz laughed, causing Taako's head to bop up and down. “Most things warm up while laying under the sun, Taako.”

Taako lifted his head enough to get a good view of Kravitz's face, stuck his tongue out, then let his head fall back down. “Don't fuckin’ - don't be like that. This is the warmest you've ever been. I didn't know if some goddess magic kept you icy on purpose or some shit.”

Kravitz just smiled and stretched out. He wasn't as warm as a living body, but he was certainly warmer than usual. And it was  _ blissful _ .

“I was gonna ask if you wanted to go in the water, but I think I like where I'm at right now,” Taako said, tracing patterns in his boyfriend's fine chest hair.

Kravitz hummed his assent and closed his eyes. A few moments passed, just listening to the ocean and enjoying Taako’s touch, before Taako broke the relative silence with, “Hey Krav?”

“Mmhmm?”

“Can you do me a favor?”

“What is it, love?”

“Breathe.”

He took a deep breath in and slowly let it out. He knew the lack of bodily sounds could be unnerving (he found Taako's body to be almost overwhelming, in the best way). He couldn't do much about his lack of heartbeat, etc., but breathe he could do.

Except it was easy to forget. He didn't need to breathe except to speak, so it didn't take long for him to drift off.

“Hey, bone boy,” Taako said, poking his cheek. “Breathe. Time it with the ocean if you have to.”

Kravitz smiled and did as instructed, timing his unnecessary breaths with the whispers of the waves. He buried his hand in Taako’s hair and the other went behind his head, and did his damnedest to remember this moment. He never once thought he would be able to have a  _ beach day _ while under the Raven Queen's service, much less be able to enjoy one with such a beautiful, adoring elf by his side. 

“Taako,” he murmured, and the elf lifted his head and smiled at him. Kravitz moved his hand to the other’s chin to gently guide him forward, and Taako happily obliged, closing the last few inches to kiss.

Kravitz's mouth was as warm as the rest of him, which was an odd sensation (something in the back of Taako's mind pointed out how weird  _ that _ observation was - that he's now more used to kissing a cold mouth than a warm one), but an extremely pleasant one nonetheless.

Kravitz could kiss him all damn day.

 

* * *

 

They stayed like that for a few minutes before Taako suddenly tugged at Kravitz's arm. “Let's go in the water!”

Kravitz huffed, not particularly wanting to move from his comfortable spot. However, he couldn't help but feel amused at Taako’s uncharacteristic enthusiasm, so he got up and followed the elf.

When Kravitz was in full view of the ocean, however, he stopped dead in his tracks.

Taako was a couple steps ahead of him, and it took him a couple moments to realize his boyfriend was no longer behind him. “Krav?” he called, turning around. Once Taako spotted him at the top of the small slope to the water, he grinned and called out, “You're staring at the wrong view, babe!”

When Kravitz didn't so much as move his eyes away from the water, a knot twisted in Taako's gut. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure there were no huge sea monsters crawling towards them, then jogged back to Kravitz's side.

“Babe,” Taako whispered when he was close enough. At this distance, he could tell Kravitz's whole body was trembling, and his hands started flickering rapidly back and forth between flesh and skeletal, the effect slowly climbing up his arms. It was almost dizzying if he focused too much on it. “Hey,” Taako said, placing a hand on Kravitz's upper arm and gently tugging towards their blankets, “let's go lie down for a little while longer, okay?”

After a couple tugs, Kravitz followed numbly behind him, still staring at the ocean until they reached the bottom of the little slope and it was almost entirely out of view. He squeezed his eyes shut then, and while his arms still flickered it stopped progressing further (which was a relief to Taako, since the effect had almost reached the part of Kravitz's arm he held onto, and he wasn't particularly eager to find out what would happen if he touched it).

Once they stopped at their blankets Kravitz practically collapsed, and due to Taako’s surprise and Kravitz's half-undone state, Taako could only catch him enough to ensure his head didn't hit the ground too hard. At least it was only sand.

“Kravitz?” Taako said in a fake calm, although a note of panic tinged his voice. “Babe? Honey? My love?” He placed his hand on Kravitz's chest and was surprised to not only find a heartbeat, but one that was  _ extremely _ fast. 

Kravitz's eyelids fluttered and he answered in a low hum.

“Babe, I need you to do me another favor, and breathe. Like…” And Taako demonstrated, breathing in for five seconds through his nose, then out for seven through his mouth, getting Kravitz to follow along as he did so. This always helped his own panic attacks, both when he was younger and when he no longer had Lup around to help him. He could only hope it could help Kravitz too, seeing as he didn't actually need to breathe.

Thankfully, though, Kravitz did eventually stop shaking. His arms settled into solid muscle and skin, and his heart settled into stillness once again. He groaned, pressing the heel of his palm into his forehead.

“Love,” Taako murmured, gently removing the hand and holding it firmly in both of his own. When Kravitz finally met his eyes, he continued, “are you afraid of the ocean?”

“I guess so, huh?” He was trying to keep it light, but Taako could hear the barely covered undercurrent of frustration and anger. He sat up and held his head in his hands, his dreadlocks falling out of their messy bun and shielding his face. 

Taako chuckled, and before he could think better of it, commented under his breath, “I cannot  _ believe _ the fuckin’ grim reaper is afraid of the ocean.”

“I don't understand it either,” Kravitz said quietly, hands moving to tug at the roots of his hair. In the momentary silence that followed, Taako could hear the distinct sound of tears hitting the sand.

All traces of the teasing tone immediately left his voice. “Hey, hey, bubbela,” Taako murmured, hands hovering worriedly by Kravitz's shoulders, “I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. The ocean is a perfectly valid thing to be afraid of.”

“Yes, but not for  _ me _ ,” Kravitz retorted, although he still didn't look up. “I can't  _ die _ , and death is the root of fear, so  _ why _ can't I face open water!?” He wasn't quite shouting, but he was getting there.

“Babe,” Taako whispered, and gently laid a hand on his shoulder. He half expected Kravitz to lash out; instead, he started leaning towards him and basically crashed against Taako’s chest. He was crying again, shuddering and sobbing, and Taako started rubbing circles into his back. “Shh shh shh,” Taako murmured, pressing his lips to the top of Kravitz's head. He normally wasn't very good with emotions, but Taako was unfortunately well versed in similar situations.

After a few moments Kravitz stopped crying and ran his hand down his face. He took another shuddering breath and just curled up against Taako's chest, head on his shoulder.

“You know,” Taako murmured, “this is probably something very, very old. That shit buries itself in your psyche and it can take time, a long time, to get it out. So you shouldn't feel  _ bad _ about it. It just  _ is _ .” Taako gets the distinct feeling he sounds exactly like his therapist.

They lapsed into silence, Kravitz still breathing and Taako still rubbing circles into his unusually warm back.

“I… I was young,” Kravitz murmured. “I was so sick and weak but… I still wanted to play. My siblings always had so much fun in the water. I wanted to know what it was like. A single wave pulled me under and I almost drowned. They pulled me out and reprimanded me, but they needn't have worried about getting me to stay away. I couldn't walk past open water at all after that.

“I always wondered why my chest tightened when looking out over the Sea of Souls.”

Taako said nothing. He couldn't think of anything  _ to _ say.

“And, you know,” Kravitz added as an afterthought, “the whole drowning in the Hunger situation didn't help at all.”

Taako's mind suddenly flashed back to watching Kravitz getting pulled under through the rift, and immediately he scolded himself again for not doing a damn thing then. But he quickly pushed the thought out of his mind. Can't do a damn thing about the past.

Instead, Taako murmured, “We can leave, if you want.”

Kravitz nodded, then felt something tighten in his chest. “I'm sorry for ruining our vacation,” he managed to get out around the lump in his throat. 

Taako was offended that he would even  _ suggest _ such a thing. “Not your fault, bubbeleh, never your fault,” Taako murmured, leaning their foreheads together. Kravitz gave him a sad smile.

Taako pulled away to squint at the sky. “Yeah, let's go. We stay here much longer and I'm gonna start burning, anyway,” he lied. He stood up, tugged Kravitz to his feet, and they cleaned everything up, stuffing everything into Taako's (hand)bag of holding.

Taako took Kravitz's hand as they left, thumb rubbing soothing circles over the other’s knuckles. As they were cresting the dunes, Kravitz’s head started to turn. Taako gently laid his hand on Kravitz’s cheek and nudged it forward. “Don’t look back,” he whispered. When they were safely over the other side, Taako cleared his throat. “I've heard good things about a sorbet place not too far from here,” he said, smiling. “Want to go see if it lives up to my exacting standards?”

Kravitz laughed, a natural smile forming on his lips once again. “Sounds good to me, love.”

**Author's Note:**

> it was going to be an ice cream place but then i remembered what a fit griffin threw over dairy products lmao
> 
> i wrote the first part of this while actually at the beach with my family, then later i remembered my headcanon that krav couldnt swim which turned into him fearing large bodies of open water which turned into this
> 
> "how did he not see the ocean while they were approaching?" uhh he was staring at taakos ass next question
> 
>  
> 
> feel free to follow my taz tumblr [@zestycheck](https://zestycheck.tumblr.com). I take fic requests + prompts.


End file.
